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With enough thrust even pigs can flyTongue
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?Undecided
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
Insurance claim!
I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the RenaissanceBig Grin
â—¦Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
â—¦Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
â—¦Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
â—¦Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
â—¦Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
â—¦Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
â—¦Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
â—¦Witness: "'Winchester'Confused
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Recent advertisement in a newspaper under motor cycles for sale. 'Never been ridden. Reason for sale: 'I misunderstood what my wife meant when she said " Do what the f... you like"
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s so sad when you see them wearing dark glasses, with streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers and you realise they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.Sad
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